Don’t worry, 80’s kid, I won’t hurt you.

When I was a kid, long before we ever had a VHS of any sort, we had a Betamax machine. I can remember very clearly a torn-up old cardboard box that my parents used to store all the Beta tapes in. I distinctly remember there being three things I would watch on it. One was Footloose, the next was Nightmare on Elm Street, and the third was the horrifying live-action version of Winnie the Pooh that was sure to give most normal kids nightmares, Welcome to Pooh’s Corner. I ate that shit up.

For some reason I have been thinking about that Betamax a lot lately. I can remember very distinctly what that machine looked and felt like. I can remember silver buttons with lines etched into them and the distinct texture of them you could feel when you pressed them. I can remember the sound that was made when you pushed a tape down on the top-loading apparatus that stuck out of the machine. With these random facts in mind, I went searching to see if I could figure out the actual brand I once had, and whether or not I could reacquire one (along with the three tapes I mentioned).

So, after searching through lots of various machines, many of which were apparently made by the company Sanyo, I think I managed to pinpoint the specific one from my childhood. Say hello to the Sanyo VTC-5000. I can still remember the blue light of its display, which was so bright it could basically light up half your living room. Great! I was making some headway. Checking Ebay listings for this thing was no issue, there are quite a few out there. The biggest issue is that I cannot seem to find one still in working order. All are being sold for parts, at least since the last time I checked. Fuck. I have no fucking idea how to fix a Betamax machine, so buying anything “for parts” will simply remain nonworking for all eternity.

Next, I checked out the three tapes I mentioned, mostly because I was curious what Beta tapes went for nowadays. I wasn’t really sure whether or not to expect these to be pricey. Footloose comes in at the lowest price. You can get a copy for about ten bucks (which might be a little high considering the content). Next is Nightmare on Elm Street, coming in anywhere between thirty and eighty bucks. I imagined it might be the case because there are a lot of horror collectors out there.

My shock came when we got to the aforementioned horror show that was Welcome to Pooh’s Corner. One hundred and fifty bucks!!! These were not easy to find, and I apologize to the ebay seller whose picture I stole of this item but there simply are no images of this tape anywhere on the internet. What I could find out was there were several volumes of this show released on Betamax, and based on what I could put together, I believe I might have had volume four.

So, all together, my search gave me somewhat useless results. My dreams of once again owning my childhood Betamax machine and re-watching the same tapes I watched over and over as a kid were shaky. I will never be able to fix a broken machine, nor will I ever be able to afford a Winnie The Pooh tape that costs more than the machine playing it. I did, however, find some videos and I think it is worth it for you to take a little look at just what this show was like. In the mean time, if anyone out there knows where I can get a working Betamax, hit me up.