“Draw me a small home that exists in a world themed after Thanksgiving. include a landscape if needed. and make it erotic.”

ps
mp3 of the moment updated

So, it’s been years since I bothered posting search statistics on my site, not because they weren’t horrifyingly interesting to me, but because my host is a dick and navigating through the sludge they call a website is too much trouble for me to give a fuck to bother doing anymore. But I was talking about with the proud owner of Mecha Duck, and decided to see what you wretched fucks have been searching for to end up here in the innocent, lovely old spookymeat. All I have to say is, WHAT. THE. FUCK. You people need some help, and I have no idea how some of that stuff even gets people to smeat in the first place. You all need a good talking to, that’s what I think. When I said the internet is ruining people, I guess I was also talking about my website. It’s going to ruin you, stop it. STOP IT. I take no responsibility for this. NOPE. (I blurred out a phone number, it was of a business, and I don’t think he would enjoy being associated with you filthy hooligans; I also took out anything child related because seriously guys, what the fuck is wrong with you?)

Yesterday my eyeballs had the horror of seeing a fake trangina that allows a dickhead to stick out where a clit should be.

And today you’re sharing my nightmare.

You’re very welcome.

“Draw me a octopus bodied koala bear eating bacon from the teets of a centaur, please. And make it erotic.”

So, as I was saying the other day, I was looking through some old Smeat posts from the beginning of the site, posts from 2002ish, a little earlier, some a little later, and found a conversation I had on a livechat for a product called Humanclick, basically, you pay to have a their live chat service on your website so you can talk with your visitors/customers/whatever the fucks. I wondered if the company still existed, and BEHOLD, it certainly, and surprisingly, does. So here is a peek into the past (lovingly typed out with less grammatical interference), and a look at the present.

2002 conversation:

AND NOWS:

So, I was looking through the old Spookymeat vaults and decided to post old aim stuff I found from over ten years ago now, back in the early Smeat days, when I would find random people on AIM to annoy in different chat rooms. You can pretty much tell which one is me. Enjoy, folks…

Hey, I don’t have an update, but you probably thought there was one here, so consider that my supreme april tomfoolery. On the other hand, Mecha Duck has an update, so why don’t you stroll on over and give that a gander. You can get there by clicking on the heartwarming juggalo couple above, or here, or here, or here (I lied about one of those).

It’s been a long fucking time. And despite Krank’s multiple insistences on me updating this site, including threats, I have neglected you all, my waning, readers. But now I am here, ready to satiate your need for pointless articles talking shit about people that don’t know I exist. Now, I realize that my absence has lead to many of you quitting the interwebs altogether, and I don’t blame you, without my guidance, what could you possibly have done, otherwise? And I’m proud of you, because the internet is ruining you, and you aren’t even aware it’s happening. ARE YOU?!

Pure shit travels across the internet and into peoples’ brain meats so fast, they don’t even realize they’re being completely ruined. Do you think without the internet you’d really have some stupid obsession with multiples of the following:

1. zombie apocalypses
2. bacon
3. things being “epic” (almost always used in the wrong context)
4. using the word “fail” constantly, or the worst offender “epic fail”
5. blahlbhalbhalbh there’s too many…

Anyway, this needs to be put in check a bit. Who would you be without the internet raping your brain? DO YOU EVEN KNOW? Careful of how far into the matrix you slip and slide, because this is the kind of shit that happens when you’re finally face fucked by it:

Take these videos as a warning, people, because if you’re not careful, the internet is going to hump your leg so hard you’re going to wake up a morbidly obese juggalo with a sudden urge to sing showtunes on the internet while fucking a pillow that looks like sailor moon. Or maybe it’s just too late for you.

More to come…

oh and PS:
This site needs to be more give and take, tell me to draw you something in the comments and your wish shall be granted in an upcoming post. Also, some sort of audio addition should be added to this shitbox as well, don’t you think?

Which reminds me, mp3 of the moment has been updated, finger frickin’ lickin’ good. –>

Well, I haven’t been posting much these past few months, good thing Krank stepped in to provide you with some warm holiday comfort. Anyway, as per tradition, I present to you the Star Wars Holiday Special, something I have posted at this time every year since forevers. Cheers, jerks. I’ll see you in 2012, when the world ends and spookymeat survives the apocalypse (again). Also, actual posts in 2012, holy fuck, maybe the world really is going to end.