Tricks he will do when children appear, and how they laugh when he’s near!

Cockgobbly, the wayward dolphin

So, in the hopes of trying to break up the review posts with a post from me in some other form, I have had an open text document sitting here for days now, waiting for me to write something about nothing in order to post. So basically every time I click on the textedit thing, forgetting that document is in hiding, I get to randomly be reminded when big black letters appear on my screen saying “TEN REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD RAPE A DOLPHIN”, and unfortunately, even though I didn’t actually finish the list, when the power went out the other day, I lost whatever reasons I had, and can now only remember “It takes a second to rape a dolphin, but leaves a lifetime of memories”. I assume that any other reason for violating blowholes ranks far lower than this reason, so I guess losing the document wasn’t the greatest of losses.

Dolphins are creepy, perma-grinning, sociopathic stalker gang rapists. Seriously, look that shit up. They’re also intelligent to the point where some scientists and researchers want them classified as non-human persons with the same rights, and should not be held captive in aquariums and the like. That means they know exactly what they’re doing, those clever little fuckers. They don’t just hunt down and rape other dolphins, they are also notorious for raping people that unknowingly float their asses out into the ocean thinking that flipper is just coming over for a quick kiss and a how-do-ya-do? (not very well, apparently, because you’re now being raped by a dolphin).

The point is, if you have an affinity for the ocean, and for whatever reason decide that these warnings aren’t enough to scare you away from the water forever, exiling yourself to safety on land with the rest of the -human- sociopaths, at least until dolphins grow legs and take over, then I suggest taking an offensive approach to the problem, seek them out, tie their flippers up, and proactively violate the chicken of the sea. Oh, and one other thing, via having found this quote, “In 1991 an English man was prosecuted for allegedly having sexual contact with a dolphin. The man was found not guilty after it was revealed at trial that the dolphin was known to tow bathers through the water by hooking its large penis around them.“, I would also suggest you stop letting them tow your stupid asses around with their enormous cocks.

3 Responses to Tricks he will do when children appear, and how they laugh when he’s near!

  1. Not Stephen says:

    I came here for a movie review and all I got was Dolphin rape

  2. Karl says:

    This got me hard.

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