Dreams from the woods…

Well, well, looks like it’s Wednesday, officially one day late on the reviews, and at least three weeks before I broke my promise to you gentle, kind-hearted blood buckets. But I have a good excuse, a review wasn’t on time yesterday because I and/or Joe was busy with :insert lie here about one of us doing something really important: and couldn’t find time to finish one up. So, we brought you a super long movie to make up for it. Okay, that was also a lie, it’s really only eight minutes or so, but hey, if you click the pic, you can watch the whole damned thing. Cheers.

This is a 2 dimensional furry pornorama. After a brief encounter with a sky humping skeleton a girl is impregnated by some kind of weird space bird. At first it seems like solid wank fodder, but quickly changes as you come to recognize the music. Moments later you are flooded with the memory of your childhood encounter with Ecco the dolphin and your erection is quickly devastated as you remember how fucking creepy that little bastard is. I feel this movie is a lesson on bestiality, just because it starts with best, doesn’t mean sex with animals (even from space) is a good idea. I would recommend this movie to Sarah, because she is into that kind of thing (Bestiality, not space).

Drömmar från skogen is a Swedish movie about a bird that falls in love with a stick girl. She isn’t made of sticks, but she is handicapped and needs a stick to be mobile, not in a walking cane sort of way, but in a, needs to have inserted up her ass and pushed around, sort of way. My favorite character was the stalker bird, who cries bitter tears at the loss of his sweet cripple-fetish girlfriend, and sends her tons of weird anonymous messages online. She then meets up with death, who, not surprisingly, kills her, and we can only assume, uses her dead, floppy body as a breeding ground for his demonic skeleton sperm, I mean, it’s fairly obvious that’s what’s going on as the credits go. I basically recommend this movie to anyone who works at a pet shop, and also, likes stuff about whatever.